


walking out

by emilia_kaisa



Series: Eurovision Song Challenge [24]
Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Angst and Feels, Complicated Relationships, EurovisionSongChallenge, Friendship, Hopeful Ending, Not Beta Read
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-28
Updated: 2020-02-28
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:07:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22944535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emilia_kaisa/pseuds/emilia_kaisa
Summary: Nikolai doesn't even blink when Javi tells him he leaves earlier.(aka it's time to leave Moscow, and time to say goodbyes)
Series: Eurovision Song Challenge [24]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1619623
Kudos: 6





	walking out

**Author's Note:**

> Well, when Idk what to write I go for Javi feels, hope you enjoy!  
> Song: 'Walking out' by Srbuk

_Who are you? What you really do_

_When you have to fight the agony that's aiming back at you?_

_Who are you? Who you run to?_

_Depend, defend, hope on_

_Can you function on your own?_

"I can't fucking do this." Javi wheezes, closing his eyes and trying to get his breathing back to normal "This is too much."

"Oh come on-"

"No, no." Javi shakes his head, not ready to open his eyes just yet, now focused on fighting the sickening feeling in his stomach "This is not going to work out."

He doesn't even know what he has been expecting. Maybe a bit of understanding, but, at least, but the silence filling his ears is telling Javi that Florent doesn't get anything, or he just doesn't want to.

"Maybe you should wait it out." Florent finally says "He's not-"

"You know what, it doesn't have sense." Javi snaps, opening his eyes "You don't have to be here if you don't want to."

Florent opens his mouth as if he wants to oppose, but in the end he just shakes his head, gets up and walks out of the room, the door behind him closing a bit too loud for it to be a coincidence.

Javi grits his teeth and inhales deeply through his nose.

Deep inside, he's not even mad at Florent. He knows that his friend doesn't really get it, because to him Nikolai is an angel. But well, he is actually paid for coaching Florent, which isn't the case with Javi. And well, Florent really isn't on a receiving end of Nikolai's bad moods, which isn't his fault, but the lack of even bit of understanding is something that stings, a little sharp points somewhere in Javi's stomach.

Javi takes a deep breath and reaches for a small folder lying on his desk, and looks at the safely folded plane ticket, feeling something rising in his throat. He swallows hard and takes a few calming inhales, and before he can even move, someone is walking in, and Javi almost jumps until he realizes that it's just his roommate.

"Hi." Max says, dropping on his own bed and looking at Javi searchingly "Okay?"

"Yeah." Javi smiles, and Max tilts his head, not convinced "Can I borrow your phone?" Javi blurts out without much thinking "I will, uh, give you money back, I just really needs to call home-"

He's not sure how much Max understands, his English worse than Javi's, but he flinches at the word 'home' and hands Javi the phone immediately, smiling at him with that wide grin of his.

"Here. Call home." he says, bright and hopeful like any sixteen years old, and Javi nods at him before quickly dialing his home number, his stomach clenching with anticipation.

"Yes?"

"Hi mom-"

"Javi? How are you, sweetie, is everything okay?"

"I will come earlier, okay? I can't stay here longer." Javi blurts out and she lets out a small gasp, and he knows there is a million questions she wants to ask, but in the end she just makes a little soothing sound, and when she speaks again, her voice is weavering a bit.

"Of course, honey. Just let us know when to come pick you up. Do you need some money-"

"I'm good, I have enough." Javi says quickly "I love you."

"We love you too, Javi. We can't wait to have you home."

When Javi hands Max his phone, the boy looks at him with concern, but also something like understanding.

"Before you fly, we go. For food." he announces and Javi smiles, a bit wider than before.

"Can't wait."

* * *

Nikolai doesn't even blink when Javi tells him he leaves earlier.

"That's your choice." he says before looking down at his phone, clearly showing that he has no intention to continue that conversation, and Javi can't help but feel as if his coach- well, almost ex coach- doesn't really believe he is going to do it. Leave and throw away what he was graciously offered.

Well, he was going to see.

Javi clenches his jaw and turns around, and gasps quietly when his eyes meet Miki's, and he has no idea she was standing there, listening to the whole conversation.

"You really leave?" she asks before he has a chance to say anything, and he wonders is she hasn't really heard anything yet, or is just asking to be sure.

"Tomorrow evening."

Rebooking the ticket took a big chunk of money he earned on worlds but to be honest, money is the last thing he can think about right now, he just wants to leave this damn city and go home, and welcome whatever change life is going to bring because nothing can be worse than this limbo he is stuck in.

"Javi?"

He blinks, and realizes that Miki is still looking at him, and that she seems pale and tired, and Javi's heart clenches a little bit, and then manages to smile.

"Yeah, sorry." he chuckles, rubbing his neck awkwardly "Yeah, I'm leaving. Tomorrow." he adds lamely, because he has no idea what to say, and he probably should say something, maybe a goodbye already, but then Miki shakes her head and comes closer, leaning to kiss his cheek briefly.

"I will find you tomorrow then."

* * *

"Okay, last one." Sergei says, fitting the last bag into the trunk and then saying something to the taxi driver, the guy laughing as if he heard the best joke ever "So..."

"So." Javi breathes out, filling weird, almost surreal, but before he can dwell on that, Max throws himself at him, clinging to Javi's shoulder like some lanku octopus.

"Don't leave me!" he whines and Javi chuckles quietly, patting his shoulder.

"It will be okay." he says with his best Russian, but Max snorts anyway, pulling back a little.

"Go so I don't have to listen bad Russian." he states and Javi shoves him away playfully.

The driver says something and Sergei sighs, looking at Javi and giving him a warm, wide smile.

"There will be traffic." he says, and Javi nods, a lump forming in his throat, and he has to cough a little to get rid of it.

"Yeah. I guess I'm- I will see you around?" Javi tries, hoping that it's true, and Sergei smiles wider, as if it is the most sure thing in the universe.

"Of course." he states, reaching to ruffle Javi's hair "Take care, Spanish one."

"You too." Javi mutters before giving him them the last smiles and getting into the cab, right into the middle of come cheerful Russian music.

Miki didn't find him, in the end, but Javi isn't mad, he gets it. There are things that he doesn't want to know about, and doesn't want to understand, and one of them is why one of his friends couldn't even look him in the eyes while saying goodbye, eyes darting somewhere aside, a handshake lasting for a second, and then he was gone.

Javi takes a deep breath, and leans against the cool window. 

Now, it can be only better.

_No begging_

_Walking out_

_At last, I feel proud, I'm walking out_

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!


End file.
